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| Yeah, this IS a real video game! |
Last night for dinner, I had a lovely (portion controlled) piece of fresh vegetarian lasagna (thank you Sunterra!) and HALF A LOAF OF BREAD. And not some mamby-pamby wonderbread, no, it was half of one of those giant fresh baked Tuscan loaves you find at your local bakery or independent grocer. I couldn't stop myself. Not only was I clever enough to put out softened butter to go with it, but also a plate of olive and walnut oil infused with toasted pumpkin seeds and fresh sage (no, I didn't make that either. I'm not gourmet, I just masquerade as one in real life) and I kept slicing and dipping, slicing and dipping until before I knew it, the whole loaf had vanished, leaving only a thick dusting of crumbs all over my patio table. After a 17 minute nap (yeah, 17 minutes I said, and it was awesome! I rule the mininap!) , I headed out to soccer practice for 90 minutes of waddling around, clutching my bread belly like it was an overstuffed money belt around my midriff and gasping like a fish out of water. I do NOT recommend consuming roughly 800 calories in entirely bread before a medium to high intensity workout. Like, this bread was bigger than most cats.
Instead of feeling all fueled up and glycemic-ready, I actually felt like bread was leaking into my lungs and trying to kill me. Lesson learned, I guess. Even now, the next day, my belly looks like one of those fetish websites. Maybe I can try to make a few bucks on the side while I "train"?
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